A Celebration of Life

Margaret Merrick Scheffelin
April 12, 1928 – June 15, 2009

My Grandmother passed away this morning and will be missed by a great number of people. A giver until the very end, she doesn’t want anyone to mourn her death but rather to celebrate her life. This is my celebration of you Grandma!

We all know the meaning of do as I say, not as I do. In general, we feel the need to say what society expects, yet we tend to do whatever makes us feel good. We make New Year’s resolutions, promise to lose weight, eat less, exercise more, give up chocolate, quit smoking, stop drinking, spend less, starting saving, learn more, go back to school, read a book, go to church, relax, do yoga, take time off, etc. Some people feel they deserve to be role models simply by position, seniority, or relation, but I only respect those role models that practice what they preach. They don’t demand respect, but earn it, by setting a good example and allowing us to learn by observation.

Let me tell you why my grandmother is my role model. Here’s a quick biography, the way I know it.

• 1928: Margaret Merrick is born in Iowa.
  
• 1932: Age 4 – The Great Depression hits America. Margaret is moved to Chicago area to live with her grandmother on milk farm.
  
• 1941: Age 13 – As the US enters WWII, Margaret falls victim to the poliomyelitis epidemic. She’s told that she’ll never walk again, but the doctor didn’t know with whom he was speaking. With only 15% muscle in her right leg and 0% in the left, she’s determined to walk, gets crutches and braces, and succeeds. In fact, while wheeling around the house out of convenience, she generally walked when leaving the house until maybe a month ago.
  
• 1943: Age 15 Margaret joined the Quiz Kids, a 40s/50s radio show. The show was more or less an early Jeopardy-type of Q&A with a panel of 5 kids selected for high IQs.
  
• 1945: Age 17 – Margaret is one of the first woman to enter Ohio State University.
  
• 1947: Age 19 – She marries my grandfather.
  
• 1953: Age 25 – She finally finishes her Bachelor’s degree at University of Albuquerque after having FOUR KIDS!
  
• 1958: Age 30 – She’s completed not only a Masters degree but also a Ph.D. in Education from University of Illinois‑Urbana.
  
• 1964: Age 36 – She’s got four more kids and is teaching at California Universities.
  
• 1968: The family of ten moves to Sacramento, CA.
  The rest is all a whirl of activity. Slowing down isn’t an option for Margaret, so she and grandpa found a learning company, with which she serves as chief consultant. She lectures at more than 250 schools in USA, Canada, Europe, and Asia. She’s awarded a Fulbright Research Professorship in the Federal Republic of Germany. Even up to 2008, she attends Fulbrighters in Science Conference in Berlin every spring on the Internet & Education Panel. The California State Senate honors her with a Senate Resolution. She is appointed by the Secretary of Defense to the D.A.C.O.W.I.T.S., (‘82-‘85) and continued as an advisor for the last 24 years. (The Defense Advisory Committee On Women In The Services was started in 1951. Historically, D.A.C.O.W.I.T.S.' recommendations have been very instrumental in effecting changes to laws and policies pertaining to military women.) She retires from the California Department of Education with more than twenty years of service, yet continues on peer review panels for many years. She’s continuously learning until the end by taking classes in computer science, website development, and even weight lifting.

ALL THAT, yet she is no different from you or me. She’s simple and down to Earth, eats and lives healthy, listens and gives good advice, plants and stops to smell the flowers. A friend of mine recently described the difference between arrogance and confidence as humility; I couldn’t agree more. My Grandma is the best role model I can imagine. For that, and for everything else, I thank you Grandma.

Two years ago Margaret was diagnosed with stage 4 uterine cancer. She immediately had a full hysterectomy and started chemotherapy. She moved from one cocktail to another as the effectiveness of each started to diminish. She survived 2 years on probably seven different types of chemotherapy, until she reached the end of the line; no new combinations were available. I can only imagine that spending the last month at home on morphine under hospice care was probably the toughest thing she ever had to do. She’s a fighter, and the morphine took away her fight. It was probably the only time in her life that she allowed herself to truly rest and do something for herself.

My mom broke down last summer and said, “Mom’s always teaching, and she’s teaching us how to die.” I disagreed, because I believe quite the opposite. Grandma taught me how to live. I have to thank my Aunt Jill for one of the finest complements I’ve ever received. She told me last summer, while sitting outside near her pool, that I reminded her of Grandma.

Grandma, I only hope to be one fraction of the person you are and that you never regret calling me P.J..

I love you,

Michelle